Hey Jude

I realized something was askew when I couldn't finish the drink I had and the thought of it was disgusting me and I was sooooo sleepy and in a weird mood. Kenny and I had not been dating that long; by not long I mean about a month. We met doing a show together in 2008 and by the end of the show we never left each other's side. And by end of the show I literally mean the last show. During the rehearsal process we flirted but I found out how young he was and said, "when you can go into a bar, we can talk." What bitch, but, what would a 25 year old want with a 20 year old? Well within the next week he turned 21; by this time I was hung up on someone else who had no interest in me but I was trying, as girls do. I tried my hardest not to like Kenny because of his age all the while knowing he was everything I loved; a dude who likes sports but can dance and sing, loved the same kind of music and looked like Ben Gibbard, the frontman for Death Cab For Cutie, could make me laugh, like loose your breath, crying laugh. So the only way I knew to act to him was like a 5 year old and be a total beeyatch to the guy I really liked. He hated me. I apologized for acting like an asshole and we became friends and started talking. If we weren't talking we were texting. During the second week of the run there was a cast party, one of many, where Kenny swooped in for the kill. Giving me his jacket when I got cold, keeping my drink full (obviously, trying to impair my judgement) and just being super funny and sweet. Then there was a kiss and there was a symphony, there were fireworks, we were floating, walking on clouds and that was all it took. After that night we never left each other's side.
When I confirmed that I was pregnant with Jude it was 5 am and Kenny was at work. I called him, terrified, awkwardly excited and confused. I sent him a text to call me immediately, he did, I dropped the bomb and all he said was, "ok, i love you. are you ok?", "i think so","ok, i'll be home in a little bit. I love you Lindsey", " I love you too."...Click... Being a ball of schizo emotions I just laid in bed until he came home. I knew it was early and I needed to make a decision, well, we needed to make a decision. Yes, I contemplated abortion. Whaaaaaaatttt???!?!?!?!?!?! yes, I do think a women has the right to choose. This will be a never ending debate that I do not wish to get into. Moving on. After some very long emotional talks, personal reflection and a looming appointment at Planned Parenthood, we skipped my appointment and we went to tell my dad. My mom found out shortly after I found out because she had that weird mother's instinct. My boobs we're also quite a tell. But she promised she would keep her mouth shut until we made a decision on what we were going to do. Naturally, Kenny was afraid my dad was going to bury him alive but everything was great, we all had dinner and celebrated. We called Kenny's parents who still lived in Minnesota at the time and had never met me, they happened to be at a family function so everyone found out at the same time. There was quite a bit more shock there. My birthday was very soon and I waited til that dinner with my friends to tell them. There was shock, there were blessings there was also a "Shut the F**K UP!" Some who had seen the show we were in knew who he was but didn't know him so I explained how it all came about and they were in. I'm sure they were still shocked and worried but they only showed me love and support.
We said and mutually agreed that there was no need to rush into marriage if even at all. I did officially move in with him and his room mates, which was an experience. They all lived in Gardena and I easily convinced them that moving to Pedro was a better option. So we did, into a great apartment on pacific and shepard. It had the best kitchen, oh, how I miss that kitchen, unbelievable counter space. It was in that apartment I woke up to Kenny already awake. As I opened my eyes he said, "Let's get married." Whoa! What!? I blinked excitedly, "Really?""yes, let's go now. I want to be married to you now""YES!!! let's go!!!" we both realized our parents would be pissed they weren't there so with a plastic purple ring he officially got on one knee and proposed. When you know, you know, guys. We happened to be going to dinner at my parents that night including my sister and her husband. Kenny said he had something to say, "I asked Lindsey to marry me today and she said yes!" My sister replied with, "I miss my blonde hair"; yes, rude but I can guarantee she wasn't paying the slightest attention to what was going on. They all had celebratory shots and I had my pellegrino.
I was due January 28th, 2009, taking my doctor's order's I was induced on the 30th. Hind-sight, would I do that again? no, I do not recommend induction. I understand cesareans that are performed for the baby's health as in an emergency but I am not a fan of the planned birth. I was told Jude was too big already and it was my first baby so blah blah blah...horrible idea. I was laboring with no epidural from January 30th 8:30am to January 31st 11am. That was with some pills and the pitocen given to me to induce labor. I didn't sleep or eat, not allowed, during those 27.5 hours so when shit started getting bad, I was exhausted and couldn't do it anymore. Defeated, I gave in to my husband and nurses wishes and got the epidural. Oh man! That was nice. I slept and FINALLY at 5:30 am on February 1st, I was ready to push. My epidural was far from effective at this point and I felt more than I thought I was going to. 7:45am a 9lb 12oz, 22in squishy faced baby boy was put on my chest. We were all in love, Kenny, Jude and I were a team now.
We all went in this together with nothing but love. We had no plan and no idea what the hell we were doing. All we knew was that we loved each other and we loved this little boy more than we could have even fathomed.
We didn't stay together because I was pregnant, we didn't get married because we had to.  From this spontaneous, immediate, love that consumed the two of us came the most wonderful, polite, funny, loving, compassionate, happy little boy.

I wouldn't change a minute of the past 4years.
Happy Birthday baby bear!

xoMommy