I'll Be There For You

This last weekend one of my good friends got married. I was just a guest at the event and it made me think about what a friend is; What kind of relationship makes you best friends? what is a best friend? Do I have a best friend? Are best friends for little girls that exchange bracelets? Did I read too many "babysitter's club" and "sweet valley high" books? 

With this whole social media explosion over the past few years the word "friend" has taken a on a different meaning. "My friend (blah blah blah) was just saying that"= This girlfriend of a friend of a friend that once knew an old acquaintance and we met at a party posted something along those lines on facebook and I "liked" it." "Jessica Simpson ate an entire box of cereal for breakfast," "Omg, we need to buy Jessica Alba's new line. We have to support her"= I follow celebs on twitter and sometimes forget that I really don't know them. "How come you didn't go to the class reunion?"..ummm... because, I know that Sally ate an omelet for breakfast, I've seen Timmy's status go from single to it's complicated like 1000 times and honestly, if I'm not friends with the other people on fb i have no desire to stalk them in person! C'mon! Also, I look nothing like my profile pic. No one needs to see me in person. 

All, thing's I've heard, said or was the basis for many conversations. You know how you know you have a really good friend (not discounting good friends on fb)? If they don't have a fb and you still manage to communicate with them. I have 5 friends I was reeeeally close with starting in middle school. A couple of them I've been friends with even longer. When I went to a different high school I made new friends that I got really close with but still managed to stay friends with those 5 girls. Being psychotic in high school I burned a lot of bridges that now, I wouldn't say we are friends but we're friends on fb; that counts right? No, not really but it was nice of them to accept the request. When I had to transfer schools my senior year going back to my hometown where my 5 girls were, I figured, well, at least I know my girls and I'm sure I'll have friends when I join play production, naturally, where I'll be the most comfortable. HELLO! These people have gone through 3 major years without you in this picture. There are new friends now. So and so got closer with so and so. She's friends with blah blah so they don't talk to her. I quickly realized I had to adapt to something completely different than I was expecting. I also started dating someone older and totally lost sight of reality and that diminished strength in most of the friendships. All of my friends went to prom together. I didn't go, the bf didn't want to go so I thought going out with him and his friends was more acceptable. I missed a lot. I can't be mad at anyone because those were choices I made as a wise 17year old. wise. The 5 girls stayed in California for college; I went to NY. Everyone thought I was so brave and full of this incredible drive to go so far to do what I loved. I was still dating the same guy and was so faithful to him that no girl was ever threatened by me in the sense that I wasn't going to date anyone they had their eyes set on. The amount of straight, hot guys was small and some of them had girlfriends back home so when news broke that that relationship was over it was my job to be wingman for my college besties and help them out. In college I had two people visit me, one of the 5 girls and my boyfriend. My friend only stayed for 4 days and I sobbed when she left. When I came home from college there wasn't too much change, all of my time was either work or the bf and that was about it. When that bf and I finally broke up I started hanging out with my friends again and they were all nice enough to fit me back into whatever lives and friends they were a part of. The 5 of us would always get together for christmas, birthdays or randomly but I mostly hung out with all of them separately.  Only recently did I realize why.

Still to this day, coming into our 30th year of life, being friends for more than half of our lives, I turn to each one for different things. These are all traits in them that I cherish and what sets them apart. I can go to lunch or breakfast with any of them or text any of them the weirdest thing I just saw,but, it's the big things, the decisions, something that I need opinions on. When we are together we are all supportive and respectful of each other and no one's opinion agreed or not is disregarded and that is what I love. They have all grown up to be amazing women that I am proud to call friends. 

Now with life blossoming with careers, school, relationships and children we might not talk every day but I know that they are there. When I'm sad they'll talk to me at 1am. When I've just given birth they'll bring me homemade breakfast to the hospital at 6 am before they go to work or go to Trader Joes and stock my fridge before I come home. When I'm going crazy and they randomly call me because they wanna come play with my kids so I can go out with my husband. When I do a show they'll be there whether it's great or not. When some one needs to vent, someone is there with a bottle of wine. When something amazing happens, we are there. When something bad happens, we are there. It doesn't matter who else your friends are friends with. I realized the meaning of a "best friend" is being the best friend you can possibly be to each other. They are the ones that will tell you you have green shit in your teeth and then proceed to get it out for you. Those are my friends. 

After Shelagh & Nic's wedding; Shelagh was a bit busy :)

My baby shower; Stef left early for work

don't forget about your friends. you will always need them and they will always need you.
be well
xoL