Vogue

Style. hmmmmm....ummmmmmm...I wouldn't say I am the most stylish....But I wouldn't say I am completely without. I am an avid yoga pant buyer, yesterday I counted 15, just black, pants; I also have another stack of other colors. That's just workout pants, that isn't counting leggings and other loungy pants. If that show "What Not To Wear" came to my bedroom they'd leave me with nothing. I have a closet full of dresses, nice, expensive dresses, that aren't specific to a season or trend so I kept them with the hope I would wear them again after I had Jude. Never happened. I have one pair of jeans that I wear, they are waaay too big. I threw out all of my maternity stuff as I don't plan on having more children, so, I'm  left with all of this random stuff. It's because I refuse to accept the size I am as a norm for me...It isn't normal and is being taken care of.
When my mom gave me reign over dressing myself for school I think I was in like 4th grade. I was so much taller and just plain bigger than everyone else that I incorporated some of my mom's clothes into my outfits. My mom is really cool and was always with trends so I never wore anything terrible. You know in "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead", when Christina Applegate goes into her mom's closet and tries to put together a totally rad outfit for her age, that was me. My mom and I wore the same shoe size so I scored on that too. I never dressed inappropriately and my mom worked at my school, never got away with ANYTHING! Before I went to Jr. High my parents took me shopping for new school clothes. I was so awkward, ugh, the beginning of 7th grade was really weird. I wasn't going to the school my address designated for me because of the bullying in elementary so I went to the school waaaaaay across town. I knew a couple of girls, but I was definitely terrified. I wore big surfer t-shirts, board shorts, jean shorts, jeans, vans, so tomboy and I am so far from a tomboy. I watched the older girls and tried to figure out who I was most like. Was I those crazy raver girls? no way my mom would let me wear that crazy shit to school. Was I the trendy girl? Teasing and hairspray was never my thing, too much time in the a.m. This was when I embraced what I still rely on today, pick from other people's closets! mom, let's go to Salvation Army! She took me to Hermosa to Aardvarks, that was when it was a cool second-hand vintage store and not a weird, expensive Halloween shop; we also went to a few other places to get some cool Levi's and tops. I was heavily influenced by alternative rock and would just die if I never lived in Seattle. I lived by Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, Offspring, Hole, Stone Temple Pilots and so many more. I rocked striped tights under jean shorts with docs and braids in my hair. I was all about the baby doll dress with the tee underneath. Flannel? Did someone say over sized flannel? Yes, 2 please. I'd like to thank my Dad for his contribution in that department. I had a metal lunchbox that served as a purse and I painted my nails with white-out. So that was Jr High, the best part was after school when I had drill, dance and/or cheer practice and the flannel came off and I donned my stretchy stuff. I mellowed out in high school, I was surrounded by a lot of people who were all very different. In 9th grade I was so insecure and even more terrified that I just kind of blended in. I was also so totally butt crazy in love with this guy that I tried everything I could to get him to like me; including dressing like the girl I heard he liked. I was in love with that guy for so long, he never liked me like that. What a nerd. In the mean time this other guy came along and tore me to pieces and I never really recovered from that. I was pretty average, still cute vintage stuff, but way more mellow than Jr. High.
When I transferred to San Pedro High my senior year, I could give two shits about what I was wearing. I didn't try very hard there, unnntiiiillll I started seeing someone and I tried to be what I thought he liked. See a pattern? Insecurity, guys, she's a real bitch. Ugh, I tried so hard, so, so hard, a lot of guess? jeans and Forever 21, in the early 2000's Forever 21 was very...spandex-blends? I don't want to say I was generic or typical just not really me. I was way younger than him and his friends so I just really tried to fit in. One of his friends had this horrid girlfriend, ugh, she was so mean to me. She was nice to me once
Lately, this whole two small children thing has got me pretty haggard, a lot of pony tails and yoga pants. I'm either going to the gym or just came from the gym; the nicer clothes, or presentable clothes, I have are reserved for being in public in a non-gym setting. Inside the belly of the beast that we call home, sometimes...let's just say it's a good thing my husband works 18hrs a day and he doesn't have to see this hot mess all day. Just recently fit into a pair of pre-Oliver jeans, cool beans. I'm looking for pre-Jude; almost there.

don't try to be something you are not. being you always looks best.
be well
xoL