Lost In The Supermarket

Everything Must Go Soup with tofu croutons

Once every 7-10 days I have veg that is on it's way to being compost so instead of wasting it I throw it all in a pot and make a soup of some sort. I always have some sort of onion if it be a shallot, leek  or red, yellow or white onion and garlic, sauteed with a bit of olive oil can be the beginning of a yummy soup. Having "staples" in your kitchen always make it easy to just throw something together if need be. Every time I go grocery shopping I replenish those items so I am never with out. 

Some items are: 

Lemons: Lemons are so clutch to have on hand at all times. Adding the juice to a sauce to brighten it up; using it as an acid in a dressing; adding zest to anything making use of the energizing essential oils in the rind; slicing it for a refreshing addition to water; or putting a bunch in a bowl to use as a centerpiece. 

Garlic: I mean, duh... I use garlic in pretty much everything I use. If I'm making some sort of international dish that doesn't call for it, I won't. Dicing, grating, pasting, rubbing, roasting, spreading, garlic is the end. Don't be lame and use that pre-cleaned/packaged garlic; you pay almost 3 times more for the service and packaging and usually there is some preservative in it to make it last. Just bust a clove ya own damn self, it takes 10 seconds. Get that garlic smell off of your fingers by rubbing them with lemon and then wash your hands. 

Onion: I hate onions. I do. Blech, can't stand 'em. Raw? ugh, GET AWAY! I tell restaurants that I am allergic so I am sure I don't get any and if I do see them I send it back. Pretty passionate right? Well, here's the thing, I like the flavor a VERRY cooked onion gives but if I see it I won't eat it. I usually grate it into whatever I'm making, using a micro-plane or box grater, so I don't see chunks of onion. However, if it is caramelized properly, I will eat it straight. High maintenance right? Never said I wasn't. I use shallots or leeks a lot as the tend to be a bit milder. Scallions? Green onions? How dare you! Get off of my plate!

Tomatoes: Canned and fresh, there is always one or both here. Sauces, salads, for roasting or broiling. I used to hate tomatoes as a kid but I like ketchup. GRODY. Now it's the opposite. I get the no sugar added, organic ketchup for Jude but that's about as far as I'll budge on that. If it's a canned tomato I generally get a couple different types like stewed, diced, crushed or whole. Fresh guys, I usually get roma because I feel like those are the most versatile for what I do. Cherry or grape tomatoes are good for roasting because the get really sweet. Beefsteak are good for broiling or baking stuffed tomatoes or slicing for sammies. They are just so good and good for you. 

Greens: Kale, spinach, arugula can be used hot or cold so I usually have one or all of those. Chard of any variety is tasty as a addition to a soup or a side dish. 

Tofu: The textures of tofu between soft and extra firm are up to what you're going to do. I keep soft for baking or smoothies. Medium or firm if I'm going to scramble and extra firm for cubing or steaks. That's one of my main proteins so I always have some just like some of you would have chicken or whatever you favor. Tofu is easily marinated as it absorbs what you're cooking with. It's like a blank canvas, you want asian? marinate with shoyu, ume plum vinegar, sriracha and ginger. Mexi? toss with cumin, coriander, salt and pepper. Curried tofu might be my favsie. 

Beans- Beans are so good for you. Get them dried and make them your self or get the can, just be conscious of the sodium. I keep a pretty healthy stock of beans in my pantry. Jude and I would eat beans every day; KT not so much. You can always blend them to make dips or add them to soups. 

Vegetable stock- Now, you can make your own and store it as you wish. I keep a couple cartons of stock in the pantry just in case. Any kind of stock is good to keep on hand, fresh or boxed, because it can be a low fat way to season or stretch a dish or if you're a fan of soup like me. 

So, those are things I buy every time I go to the store. I find the things that cost the most are the seasonings and specialty ingredients like tahini or maple syrup. But, you buy them and then you have them; especially things like the ume plum vinegar, mirin cooking wine, dried herbs or spices, things like that. See if your store sells spices by the pound, for instance, Sprouts has a wall of spices that you can just grab a teaspoon if you wish. I found that helpful if I'm trying something new out on the fam; if they like it cool, I'll invest, if not...well, I tried. I use recipes to get familiar with a foreign ingredient then after I've familiarized myself, I experiment. My mom has always been good at just throwing stuff together; I learned from her on that one. I have a calendar with a space to write in meals; it helps with expenses and confusion. We're going out here; so and so is coming over; i'm lazy, you know. Every wednesday night we order sushi and watch One Tree Hill so that day is accounted for. Yea, we watch One Tree Hill. What? Have I seen every episode and will I cry when the series ends in a few weeks? Yes and Yes. Ain't no shame in my One Tree Hill game...okay, i'm done. 

Food should keep you up; not weigh you down.

be well

xoL

Vogue

Style. hmmmmm....ummmmmmm...I wouldn't say I am the most stylish....But I wouldn't say I am completely without. I am an avid yoga pant buyer, yesterday I counted 15, just black, pants; I also have another stack of other colors. That's just workout pants, that isn't counting leggings and other loungy pants. If that show "What Not To Wear" came to my bedroom they'd leave me with nothing. I have a closet full of dresses, nice, expensive dresses, that aren't specific to a season or trend so I kept them with the hope I would wear them again after I had Jude. Never happened. I have one pair of jeans that I wear, they are waaay too big. I threw out all of my maternity stuff as I don't plan on having more children, so, I'm  left with all of this random stuff. It's because I refuse to accept the size I am as a norm for me...It isn't normal and is being taken care of.
When my mom gave me reign over dressing myself for school I think I was in like 4th grade. I was so much taller and just plain bigger than everyone else that I incorporated some of my mom's clothes into my outfits. My mom is really cool and was always with trends so I never wore anything terrible. You know in "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead", when Christina Applegate goes into her mom's closet and tries to put together a totally rad outfit for her age, that was me. My mom and I wore the same shoe size so I scored on that too. I never dressed inappropriately and my mom worked at my school, never got away with ANYTHING! Before I went to Jr. High my parents took me shopping for new school clothes. I was so awkward, ugh, the beginning of 7th grade was really weird. I wasn't going to the school my address designated for me because of the bullying in elementary so I went to the school waaaaaay across town. I knew a couple of girls, but I was definitely terrified. I wore big surfer t-shirts, board shorts, jean shorts, jeans, vans, so tomboy and I am so far from a tomboy. I watched the older girls and tried to figure out who I was most like. Was I those crazy raver girls? no way my mom would let me wear that crazy shit to school. Was I the trendy girl? Teasing and hairspray was never my thing, too much time in the a.m. This was when I embraced what I still rely on today, pick from other people's closets! mom, let's go to Salvation Army! She took me to Hermosa to Aardvarks, that was when it was a cool second-hand vintage store and not a weird, expensive Halloween shop; we also went to a few other places to get some cool Levi's and tops. I was heavily influenced by alternative rock and would just die if I never lived in Seattle. I lived by Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, Offspring, Hole, Stone Temple Pilots and so many more. I rocked striped tights under jean shorts with docs and braids in my hair. I was all about the baby doll dress with the tee underneath. Flannel? Did someone say over sized flannel? Yes, 2 please. I'd like to thank my Dad for his contribution in that department. I had a metal lunchbox that served as a purse and I painted my nails with white-out. So that was Jr High, the best part was after school when I had drill, dance and/or cheer practice and the flannel came off and I donned my stretchy stuff. I mellowed out in high school, I was surrounded by a lot of people who were all very different. In 9th grade I was so insecure and even more terrified that I just kind of blended in. I was also so totally butt crazy in love with this guy that I tried everything I could to get him to like me; including dressing like the girl I heard he liked. I was in love with that guy for so long, he never liked me like that. What a nerd. In the mean time this other guy came along and tore me to pieces and I never really recovered from that. I was pretty average, still cute vintage stuff, but way more mellow than Jr. High.
When I transferred to San Pedro High my senior year, I could give two shits about what I was wearing. I didn't try very hard there, unnntiiiillll I started seeing someone and I tried to be what I thought he liked. See a pattern? Insecurity, guys, she's a real bitch. Ugh, I tried so hard, so, so hard, a lot of guess? jeans and Forever 21, in the early 2000's Forever 21 was very...spandex-blends? I don't want to say I was generic or typical just not really me. I was way younger than him and his friends so I just really tried to fit in. One of his friends had this horrid girlfriend, ugh, she was so mean to me. She was nice to me once
Lately, this whole two small children thing has got me pretty haggard, a lot of pony tails and yoga pants. I'm either going to the gym or just came from the gym; the nicer clothes, or presentable clothes, I have are reserved for being in public in a non-gym setting. Inside the belly of the beast that we call home, sometimes...let's just say it's a good thing my husband works 18hrs a day and he doesn't have to see this hot mess all day. Just recently fit into a pair of pre-Oliver jeans, cool beans. I'm looking for pre-Jude; almost there.

don't try to be something you are not. being you always looks best.
be well
xoL

Soul Meets Body

A little more than one month has gone by since I've started this virtual journey and I have to confess... I ate cheese! AHHHHHHHH!!!! Kidding. Well, not kidding actually, I did eat it. Twice. Once was an accident...huh? how do you "accidentally" eat cheese? Mindless eating is what I came to, I was making Jude a sammie and there was a little extra piece left and I just, mindlessly, shoved that cheddar down my trap. When I realized what I did it was kind of a wake up, as in, think, think before you do. The second ingestion was completely deliberate and a moment of PMS induced insanity, I wanted a calzone...What the F***k? Yea, I wanted a gooey, stringy, cheesy calzone. I got through almost half of it and realized I was already feeling sick. I put that baby in the trash and made some tea. That was this last Saturday night. Sunday I resumed with my normal breakfast of smashed avo on toast and a veggie drink for lunch. I invited my mom over to watch the Superbowl with me seeing that I was alone and couldn't emotionally handle Madonna by myself, oh, and I guess the game. I planned on making stir fry but when she called she asked if I minded she bring chips and onion dip, her favsie, I said, "Of course!" Well, an hour later she was at the store, Oliver was asleep on me and she mentioned just getting frozen pizzas instead of me having to cook. Yes, much easier, sounds good. You see, in our home when the clock strikes 5:30 the witching hour begins. Jude isn't a napper so by this time he is getting whiny and quite the pain in my rear. Oliver goes to bed at 7 so his dinner is around then, it's game time here so, frozen pizza? sure. She brought over a Margherita pizza for Jude and herself and an Amy's vegan pizza for me, I was relieved when I saw that. After the night before, when I officially divorced cheese, I was looking forward to just picking that bitch off my pie, but, no worries, mommy comes through as always. As the game progressed I thought, "eh, what's a little sour cream and a couple chips," so I go for it. ugggghhhhhh. For the past few days since my moments of insanity I've been irritable, kinda cloudy, basically feeling like I've had a hangover except for the fact I didn't drink. Now I know and knowing is half the battle. Thanks GI Joe.

When I was talking to the husby about putting down the bottle, he was supportive but didn't completely understand why I was making that choice. I explained what the plan was, no drink for 28 days, which landed on my friends wedding. I could drink if I wanted and wouldn't beat myself up about it. In the next days he didn't drink until the following week when he wanted beer, I think we were watching a game or something. Out of respect, he asked if I minded him drinking and if I did, he wouldn't, didn't want to tempt me or make me feel badly. I appreciated his courtesy and took it as a test, I passed although it was hard to not have just a sip. When the time came for the wedding, cocktail hour was upon us and I ordered a glass of red. I babysat the full glass for a while in fear simply because I was afraid now. I hadn't drank in a while, I felt like the a teen girl in a Lifetime movie with her peers pressuring her to drink and "let loose", except the peers happen to be my own brain, and then, bottom's up! It was an open bar so I told myself not to go to the bar myself and only get a drink if someone offers to go get it, no hard liquor and drink plenty of water. I ended up having about 3 glasses over the course of 5 hours, not bad for moi. I got a little buzzed but definitely sober enough to realize my KT took full advantage of the bar service. He paid for it the next morning and I laughed at him, it felt good. Geez, Linds, that's not nice! Eh, pish posh! I have, and never have had, remorse for people with hangovers. Even with myself, I did this to myself, you did that to yourself, now we pay. I'm cool with not spending my day miserable.
So, a month later I say boo to dairy for reals and alcohol and I have definitely broke up but I'm confident knowing that I can be around it and control myself weather it be not having any or having just one. I'm okay with not drinking and I'm okay being sociable and sober, turns out I'm pretty rad either way. I feel like everything is aligning, like the clay is still being formed but definitely resembling something familiar.  It isn't just following through with what I said I was going to do now, I've been doing it. I allowed mistakes and I learned, that's pretty big. It's all happening.

Keep on keepin' on ;)
be well
xoL

Hey Jude

I realized something was askew when I couldn't finish the drink I had and the thought of it was disgusting me and I was sooooo sleepy and in a weird mood. Kenny and I had not been dating that long; by not long I mean about a month. We met doing a show together in 2008 and by the end of the show we never left each other's side. And by end of the show I literally mean the last show. During the rehearsal process we flirted but I found out how young he was and said, "when you can go into a bar, we can talk." What bitch, but, what would a 25 year old want with a 20 year old? Well within the next week he turned 21; by this time I was hung up on someone else who had no interest in me but I was trying, as girls do. I tried my hardest not to like Kenny because of his age all the while knowing he was everything I loved; a dude who likes sports but can dance and sing, loved the same kind of music and looked like Ben Gibbard, the frontman for Death Cab For Cutie, could make me laugh, like loose your breath, crying laugh. So the only way I knew to act to him was like a 5 year old and be a total beeyatch to the guy I really liked. He hated me. I apologized for acting like an asshole and we became friends and started talking. If we weren't talking we were texting. During the second week of the run there was a cast party, one of many, where Kenny swooped in for the kill. Giving me his jacket when I got cold, keeping my drink full (obviously, trying to impair my judgement) and just being super funny and sweet. Then there was a kiss and there was a symphony, there were fireworks, we were floating, walking on clouds and that was all it took. After that night we never left each other's side.
When I confirmed that I was pregnant with Jude it was 5 am and Kenny was at work. I called him, terrified, awkwardly excited and confused. I sent him a text to call me immediately, he did, I dropped the bomb and all he said was, "ok, i love you. are you ok?", "i think so","ok, i'll be home in a little bit. I love you Lindsey", " I love you too."...Click... Being a ball of schizo emotions I just laid in bed until he came home. I knew it was early and I needed to make a decision, well, we needed to make a decision. Yes, I contemplated abortion. Whaaaaaaatttt???!?!?!?!?!?! yes, I do think a women has the right to choose. This will be a never ending debate that I do not wish to get into. Moving on. After some very long emotional talks, personal reflection and a looming appointment at Planned Parenthood, we skipped my appointment and we went to tell my dad. My mom found out shortly after I found out because she had that weird mother's instinct. My boobs we're also quite a tell. But she promised she would keep her mouth shut until we made a decision on what we were going to do. Naturally, Kenny was afraid my dad was going to bury him alive but everything was great, we all had dinner and celebrated. We called Kenny's parents who still lived in Minnesota at the time and had never met me, they happened to be at a family function so everyone found out at the same time. There was quite a bit more shock there. My birthday was very soon and I waited til that dinner with my friends to tell them. There was shock, there were blessings there was also a "Shut the F**K UP!" Some who had seen the show we were in knew who he was but didn't know him so I explained how it all came about and they were in. I'm sure they were still shocked and worried but they only showed me love and support.
We said and mutually agreed that there was no need to rush into marriage if even at all. I did officially move in with him and his room mates, which was an experience. They all lived in Gardena and I easily convinced them that moving to Pedro was a better option. So we did, into a great apartment on pacific and shepard. It had the best kitchen, oh, how I miss that kitchen, unbelievable counter space. It was in that apartment I woke up to Kenny already awake. As I opened my eyes he said, "Let's get married." Whoa! What!? I blinked excitedly, "Really?""yes, let's go now. I want to be married to you now""YES!!! let's go!!!" we both realized our parents would be pissed they weren't there so with a plastic purple ring he officially got on one knee and proposed. When you know, you know, guys. We happened to be going to dinner at my parents that night including my sister and her husband. Kenny said he had something to say, "I asked Lindsey to marry me today and she said yes!" My sister replied with, "I miss my blonde hair"; yes, rude but I can guarantee she wasn't paying the slightest attention to what was going on. They all had celebratory shots and I had my pellegrino.
I was due January 28th, 2009, taking my doctor's order's I was induced on the 30th. Hind-sight, would I do that again? no, I do not recommend induction. I understand cesareans that are performed for the baby's health as in an emergency but I am not a fan of the planned birth. I was told Jude was too big already and it was my first baby so blah blah blah...horrible idea. I was laboring with no epidural from January 30th 8:30am to January 31st 11am. That was with some pills and the pitocen given to me to induce labor. I didn't sleep or eat, not allowed, during those 27.5 hours so when shit started getting bad, I was exhausted and couldn't do it anymore. Defeated, I gave in to my husband and nurses wishes and got the epidural. Oh man! That was nice. I slept and FINALLY at 5:30 am on February 1st, I was ready to push. My epidural was far from effective at this point and I felt more than I thought I was going to. 7:45am a 9lb 12oz, 22in squishy faced baby boy was put on my chest. We were all in love, Kenny, Jude and I were a team now.
We all went in this together with nothing but love. We had no plan and no idea what the hell we were doing. All we knew was that we loved each other and we loved this little boy more than we could have even fathomed.
We didn't stay together because I was pregnant, we didn't get married because we had to.  From this spontaneous, immediate, love that consumed the two of us came the most wonderful, polite, funny, loving, compassionate, happy little boy.

I wouldn't change a minute of the past 4years.
Happy Birthday baby bear!

xoMommy

Hey Jude

I realized something was askew when I couldn't finish the drink I had and the thought of it was disgusting me and I was sooooo sleepy and in a weird mood. Kenny and I had not been dating that long; by not long I mean about a month. We met doing a show together in 2008 and by the end of the show we never left each other's side. And by end of the show I literally mean the last show. During the rehearsal process we flirted but I found out how young he was and said, "when you can go into a bar, we can talk." What bitch, but, what would a 25 year old want with a 20 year old? Well within the next week he turned 21; by this time I was hung up on someone else who had no interest in me but I was trying, as girls do. I tried my hardest not to like Kenny because of his age all the while knowing he was everything I loved; a dude who likes sports but can dance and sing, loved the same kind of music and looked like Ben Gibbard, the frontman for Death Cab For Cutie, could make me laugh, like loose your breath, crying laugh. So the only way I knew to act to him was like a 5 year old and be a total beeyatch to the guy I really liked. He hated me. I apologized for acting like an asshole and we became friends and started talking. If we weren't talking we were texting. During the second week of the run there was a cast party, one of many, where Kenny swooped in for the kill. Giving me his jacket when I got cold, keeping my drink full (obviously, trying to impair my judgement) and just being super funny and sweet. Then there was a kiss and there was a symphony, there were fireworks, we were floating, walking on clouds and that was all it took. After that night we never left each other's side.
When I confirmed that I was pregnant with Jude it was 5 am and Kenny was at work. I called him, terrified, awkwardly excited and confused. I sent him a text to call me immediately, he did, I dropped the bomb and all he said was, "ok, i love you. are you ok?", "i think so","ok, i'll be home in a little bit. I love you Lindsey", " I love you too."...Click... Being a ball of schizo emotions I just laid in bed until he came home. I knew it was early and I needed to make a decision, well, we needed to make a decision. Yes, I contemplated abortion. Whaaaaaaatttt???!?!?!?!?!?! yes, I do think a women has the right to choose. This will be a never ending debate that I do not wish to get into. Moving on. After some very long emotional talks, personal reflection and a looming appointment at Planned Parenthood, we skipped my appointment and we went to tell my dad. My mom found out shortly after I found out because she had that weird mother's instinct. My boobs we're also quite a tell. But she promised she would keep her mouth shut until we made a decision on what we were going to do. Naturally, Kenny was afraid my dad was going to bury him alive but everything was great, we all had dinner and celebrated. We called Kenny's parents who still lived in Minnesota at the time and had never met me, they happened to be at a family function so everyone found out at the same time. There was quite a bit more shock there. My birthday was very soon and I waited til that dinner with my friends to tell them. There was shock, there were blessings there was also a "Shut the F**K UP!" Some who had seen the show we were in knew who he was but didn't know him so I explained how it all came about and they were in. I'm sure they were still shocked and worried but they only showed me love and support.
We said and mutually agreed that there was no need to rush into marriage if even at all. I did officially move in with him and his room mates, which was an experience. They all lived in Gardena and I easily convinced them that moving to Pedro was a better option. So we did, into a great apartment on pacific and shepard. It had the best kitchen, oh, how I miss that kitchen, unbelievable counter space. It was in that apartment I woke up to Kenny already awake. As I opened my eyes he said, "Let's get married." Whoa! What!? I blinked excitedly, "Really?""yes, let's go now. I want to be married to you now""YES!!! let's go!!!" we both realized our parents would be pissed they weren't there so with a plastic purple ring he officially got on one knee and proposed. When you know, you know, guys. We happened to be going to dinner at my parents that night including my sister and her husband. Kenny said he had something to say, "I asked Lindsey to marry me today and she said yes!" My sister replied with, "I miss my blonde hair"; yes, rude but I can guarantee she wasn't paying the slightest attention to what was going on. They all had celebratory shots and I had my pellegrino.
I was due January 28th, 2009, taking my doctor's order's I was induced on the 30th. Hind-sight, would I do that again? no, I do not recommend induction. I understand cesareans that are performed for the baby's health as in an emergency but I am not a fan of the planned birth. I was told Jude was too big already and it was my first baby so blah blah blah...horrible idea. I was laboring with no epidural from January 30th 8:30am to January 31st 11am. That was with some pills and the pitocen given to me to induce labor. I didn't sleep or eat, not allowed, during those 27.5 hours so when shit started getting bad, I was exhausted and couldn't do it anymore. Defeated, I gave in to my husband and nurses wishes and got the epidural. Oh man! That was nice. I slept and FINALLY at 5:30 am on February 1st, I was ready to push. My epidural was far from effective at this point and I felt more than I thought I was going to. 7:45am a 9lb 12oz, 22in squishy faced baby boy was put on my chest. We were all in love, Kenny, Jude and I were a team now.
We all went in this together with nothing but love. We had no plan and no idea what the hell we were doing. All we knew was that we loved each other and we loved this little boy more than we could have even fathomed.
We didn't stay together because I was pregnant, we didn't get married because we had to.  From this spontaneous, immediate, love that consumed the two of us came the most wonderful, polite, funny, loving, compassionate, happy little boy.

I wouldn't change a minute of the past 4years.
Happy Birthday baby bear!

xoMommy