I'll Be There For You

This last weekend one of my good friends got married. I was just a guest at the event and it made me think about what a friend is; What kind of relationship makes you best friends? what is a best friend? Do I have a best friend? Are best friends for little girls that exchange bracelets? Did I read too many "babysitter's club" and "sweet valley high" books? 

With this whole social media explosion over the past few years the word "friend" has taken a on a different meaning. "My friend (blah blah blah) was just saying that"= This girlfriend of a friend of a friend that once knew an old acquaintance and we met at a party posted something along those lines on facebook and I "liked" it." "Jessica Simpson ate an entire box of cereal for breakfast," "Omg, we need to buy Jessica Alba's new line. We have to support her"= I follow celebs on twitter and sometimes forget that I really don't know them. "How come you didn't go to the class reunion?"..ummm... because, I know that Sally ate an omelet for breakfast, I've seen Timmy's status go from single to it's complicated like 1000 times and honestly, if I'm not friends with the other people on fb i have no desire to stalk them in person! C'mon! Also, I look nothing like my profile pic. No one needs to see me in person. 

All, thing's I've heard, said or was the basis for many conversations. You know how you know you have a really good friend (not discounting good friends on fb)? If they don't have a fb and you still manage to communicate with them. I have 5 friends I was reeeeally close with starting in middle school. A couple of them I've been friends with even longer. When I went to a different high school I made new friends that I got really close with but still managed to stay friends with those 5 girls. Being psychotic in high school I burned a lot of bridges that now, I wouldn't say we are friends but we're friends on fb; that counts right? No, not really but it was nice of them to accept the request. When I had to transfer schools my senior year going back to my hometown where my 5 girls were, I figured, well, at least I know my girls and I'm sure I'll have friends when I join play production, naturally, where I'll be the most comfortable. HELLO! These people have gone through 3 major years without you in this picture. There are new friends now. So and so got closer with so and so. She's friends with blah blah so they don't talk to her. I quickly realized I had to adapt to something completely different than I was expecting. I also started dating someone older and totally lost sight of reality and that diminished strength in most of the friendships. All of my friends went to prom together. I didn't go, the bf didn't want to go so I thought going out with him and his friends was more acceptable. I missed a lot. I can't be mad at anyone because those were choices I made as a wise 17year old. wise. The 5 girls stayed in California for college; I went to NY. Everyone thought I was so brave and full of this incredible drive to go so far to do what I loved. I was still dating the same guy and was so faithful to him that no girl was ever threatened by me in the sense that I wasn't going to date anyone they had their eyes set on. The amount of straight, hot guys was small and some of them had girlfriends back home so when news broke that that relationship was over it was my job to be wingman for my college besties and help them out. In college I had two people visit me, one of the 5 girls and my boyfriend. My friend only stayed for 4 days and I sobbed when she left. When I came home from college there wasn't too much change, all of my time was either work or the bf and that was about it. When that bf and I finally broke up I started hanging out with my friends again and they were all nice enough to fit me back into whatever lives and friends they were a part of. The 5 of us would always get together for christmas, birthdays or randomly but I mostly hung out with all of them separately.  Only recently did I realize why.

Still to this day, coming into our 30th year of life, being friends for more than half of our lives, I turn to each one for different things. These are all traits in them that I cherish and what sets them apart. I can go to lunch or breakfast with any of them or text any of them the weirdest thing I just saw,but, it's the big things, the decisions, something that I need opinions on. When we are together we are all supportive and respectful of each other and no one's opinion agreed or not is disregarded and that is what I love. They have all grown up to be amazing women that I am proud to call friends. 

Now with life blossoming with careers, school, relationships and children we might not talk every day but I know that they are there. When I'm sad they'll talk to me at 1am. When I've just given birth they'll bring me homemade breakfast to the hospital at 6 am before they go to work or go to Trader Joes and stock my fridge before I come home. When I'm going crazy and they randomly call me because they wanna come play with my kids so I can go out with my husband. When I do a show they'll be there whether it's great or not. When some one needs to vent, someone is there with a bottle of wine. When something amazing happens, we are there. When something bad happens, we are there. It doesn't matter who else your friends are friends with. I realized the meaning of a "best friend" is being the best friend you can possibly be to each other. They are the ones that will tell you you have green shit in your teeth and then proceed to get it out for you. Those are my friends. 

After Shelagh & Nic's wedding; Shelagh was a bit busy :)

My baby shower; Stef left early for work

don't forget about your friends. you will always need them and they will always need you.
be well
xoL

She Wants To Move

I love the gym. I love the cardio machines, free weights, classes and, just recently realizing, I can shower while my kids are in child care. I know there are people that despise the gym and the atmosphere in the facility. I, too, am not a fan of the douchers that creep the free weight rooms curling 100lb dumbbells once, failing to re-rack and have chicken legs because they fail to remember the lower half of their masterpiece needs attention too. Classic tale: When I worked for 24 Hour Fitness I would work out usually at night around 8 or 9 when I got off. It just depended on what my schedule was but I definitely tried my hardest to avoid peak times for two reasons; it was busy and I liked working then and the stereotypical doucher entered then; a good audience for his killer traps and the thousand shrugs he did to maintain. One time, ONE TIME, I tried to get lift on during this time of day, I got my 10lb weights and assumed the position on a bench on my back ready to start some chest presses. Second set in, I see there are hands helping mine and sweaty basketball shorts touching the crown of my head. Taking my earbuds out, I sat up, "Can I help you?", "Uuuuhhhh, yea, yea, you can. You need a spot?", "I think I'll be good with this 10lbs. thanks, though.", "So, you wanna work out together? We can mix in. I see you're doing chest. I can do chest today", "No, but, thanks. Have a good work out.", "Bitch."...aw, shucks, he probably won't ask me out now (he did, another day, yes, I declined.) The gym isn't the only option for exercise; it's just what I prefer.

I like group exercise classes like spin or boxing because it's a solid 45 minutes you're doing cardio and sometimes it's nice to get off the hamster wheel. Moving with other people is a good motivator because you 1) don't wanna be the one to crap out and leave and 2) there's always some bouncy, toned bitch in the front that makes you either work harder because you wanna look like her or you want to get stronger and better than her so you can then assume her role in class. I was the bouncy bitch in front; now I'm the fatty in the back. I tried Zumba, it was fun but I think it might be more fun if I was doing it with a friend or maybe the teacher wasn't the greatest. I've done it a couple of times with different teachers, I'm just not into it. I'm not really into any of the cardio dance classes, weird right? Being a dancer my whole life it's just not my deal. Like I said though, maybe if I was taking it with a buddy it may be more fun. 

Yoga and Pilates. Love. I started doing yoga when I was 16 with one of my besties Kristina. I really liked it but some of the poses and breathing got the best of 2 16 year old girls and as hard as we tried we just giggled too much. I really started loving it when I went by myself. Just feeling like it wasn't the time to think about what I ate that day or who was mad at me at school or who I was trying to impress and what they thought; just time to breathe and re-ground myself. My favorite part of class is the last 15 minutes of savasana (corpse pose) and meditation. Now, I've never been able to completely clear my mind and just meditate. I've tried; I've tried hard. hmmmm...maybe I'm trying too hard. It will come one day; I'll get it. Anyhow, pilates was really easy for me to latch onto coming from a dance background. I'm more into the mat classes but that is mainly because I've never been able to afford the reformer sessions. Once you get the hang of yoga and pilates it's easy to do at home on your own. I did yoga and pilates during both pregnancies, more with #2 because I had more confidence in what my body was capable of during pregnancy. The hours I was in labor with Oliver with no meds my yoga breath helped, doing certain poses helped. If you start doing anything, start with a walk and a beginners yoga class, not dvd, a class. trust me. 

I am currently going to the gym at least 4-5 days a week. Sometimes I roll solo but I usually wait for the husby to come with. The days I, for whatever reason, can't make it I do p90x. That is some intense stuff, good, but intense. I have quite an addictive personality and the soreness and burn you feel after a workout is addicting. Also, hummus, that shit is addicting too, but make your own, it's better. Any how, always trust your body and listen to it, don't ignore signs of fatigue or distress. I've seen people drop dead on treadmills; it's not fun for anyone. Don't be afraid to to do a beginner class in anything, start easy, no need to start advanced and get hurt. Pushing yourself to go farther and get better at something is great but that takes time. Over doing it is completely different, recognize the difference with yourself. And just because you did whatever in high school doesn't mean you can do it the same way 10 years later. Quality vs. Quantity; better quality is more beneficial than doing 1000 crunches wrong. that is when you get hurt. Pace yourself, it's okay!

 

"You are worthy of good health. It's never too late."- say that to yourself in the mirror. 

be well

xoL

Lucky I'm In Love (With My Best Friend)

I'm not one that takes compliments well. I know you're just supposed to say thank you but I can never manage to get that out properly. It's annoying. Today I received one of the best compliments of my life. Here's the story:
When Kenny and I first met I was a vegan and he was...well, Minnesotan. Meat, potato, meat, cheese, drive thru, cheese, meat, carb. He's built for the tundra, tall with big broad shoulders, fuzzy and an appetite that will keep you warm. He has never been over-weight, of course that sweet pregnancy weight that men acquire but nothing dangerous. You know though, skinny doesn't mean healthy or in shape. When I was about four months pregs with Juder I had this incredible craving for meat. Not chicken or a turkey sammie, like, a giant, fat, rare rib eye or a thick, juicy hamburger. Without researching a vegan/veggie pregnancy, I was encouraged by my Dr to give into the craving, that I was too anemic (true) to not eat meat during pregnancy (false). So give in I did, any kind of meat I went for and I never got sick. Well, I had crazy morning sickness but that was it, literally in the morning and that was all. So with me eating meat and dairy there was no reason for him to eat differently. Same story for baby part deux, high animal protein based diet and Kenny mixed in a few fries and pizza.
After I had Oliver I was going crazy being at home alone with the kids all day. Jude doesn't go to school and you can only go to so many play dates. So with research I found that the YMCA's child watch center takes children as young as 6 weeks! UH-mazing! So I convinced Kenny, an anti-gym kind of guy, to enroll all of us for the family program. After going a few times he was totally into it. Guys, going to the gym with your significant other is a good time. Just sayin. Moving along, his diet changed, his energy changed, his body tone is changing, it's all so wonderful to witness. I am super proud of him and what he's doing. This is where the compliment comes in.
This morning I woke up with a cold (boo) so I skipped the gym, he went and carted Oliver with him. I made a trip to Sprouts to load up on fruit&veg. We sat down to watch "The Ides of March" (great flick) and he turns to me and says, "I feel so good, like alive, and it's because of you. I've never felt this good and I do it for you. I love you."
Love, right? After having a shitty day yesterday and feeling ill, I couldn't have felt better; knowing what I do is actually effective and contagious is the best compliment I could ever receive.

Give someone a compliment. You never know how much it really means to them.
be well
xoL

Mad Mission

What would you say to the 16 year old you?
I'd say; "Stop. Just pause and calm down."

I started wearing a bra when I was in 3rd grade, like a training bra but I was the only one. Horrible. I started surfing the crimson wave at 10. Embarrassed. I was 5'3 in 6th grade. Annoying. I kind of know when I started getting crazy but I'm not exactly sure. Big Confession: I have the worst self esteem, confidence, whatever. I don't have a lick of it. I can't really tell you one thing that I actually love about myself. It sucks. I try. I'll make something up or say something I once heard someone say they liked about me but me actually believing it...no. I always say I can make you believe anything, I've put on the greatest show for years. When I was suuuuuuuper skinny (and suuuuuuper sick) it wasn't enough, but that is the illness. I remember loosing a bunch of weight and a boyfriend said "you look soo skinny! but you should tone up, you have no definition." That's not horrible but guess what that did? I was so impressed with myself that I could see bones that when I heard that it was defeated and after all that work, it wasn't revered. Someone once told me I was "robust", well at the time I wasn't clear on the exact definition and after I looked it up down the spiral I went. Fit into this costume, you're wearing a mid drift, you will be doing lifts, you look better with straight hair, you look better with curly hair, your lips are so big, you are too tall, your hair is too light, your hair is too dark, you'd look more exotic with lighter eyes, too bad you aren't this size, it's a pool party, i have nothing for you to wear, your boobs are big, your legs are too muscular, I'm just not attracted to you, fatty fatty two by four, should you have another piece, your hair is frizzy, your arms are too hairy, you're too skinny. All things I've heard in my life. Did you know I despise eating in front of people? weird, huh? I don't like working out outside because I think people are talking shit about me and the way I look. That's not even just now, I've felt that way skinny minnie and fatty patty. I hate taking pictures, always have. But Lindsey! your job was always pictures and being in front of people. yup, greatest performance ever.
Now you know.
The difference now is I have three other lives that need me. I can't shut down. I have teach this old dog a new trick. Trick being living healthy and stable; being educated and positive. It's like starting all over again, like starting from scratch.

look in the mirror and tell yourself something great about you.
be well
xoL

Baby Mine

When we realized Oliver was allergic to me, yes, allergic to me, I was devastated. I cried every time I put the bottle in his mouth and he went pawing for my chest. If it were up to me I'd still be nursing. I cut everything likely from my diet and after 8 weeks of him having rashes, congestion, gas, irregular bowels, we switched to soy formula. It was like magic, within 24 hours of the switch his skin was clear, his runny nose was gone and he was eating in peace. I was happy because he was happy but I feared I would loose that unmatchable bond between mother and child. After seeing a pediatrician that was pro-active in treatment I see a lot of changes for the better. We switched formulas to a simpler protein that also turns out to be more expensive. awesome. He is however teething and contracted a cold so that's been super. Of course, I blame myself for his pain by blaming it on him only being nursed for 8wks. Of course I blame myself.
After seeing our pricey formula fly out of the can due to his insatiable hunger as he weighs almost 20lbs and measuring well over two feet at nearly 5months old, I decided to try some solids. He was not a fan of the rice cereal alone. I'm going to try adding a little sweet potato to it next time. I made the sweet potatoes and carrots today, sent them through the blender and they were a hit! I make enough for the week and separate them into smaller containers, put one in the fridge for tomorrow and freeze the rest. I pull a serving out the night before to put in the fridge and defrost over night. I'm not a fan of the jarred stuff. Surprised? I will get some if we go somewhere and it's just not feasible to make the food. I don't care if it's on sale, I don't care if it's easier. It's easy for you to get fast food too, right? no thanks. It's a whole lot cheaper to buy a bag of organic veg and just do it yourself than paying for packaging and preservatives. It's also quite rewarding when you see them love what you just made and knowing exactly what is in it. And you can get pretty creative with the mixtures you make. When Jude was about 8 months I started throwing everything and anything in the processor. By the time he was a year old he had a pretty solid palate and would eat anything. I'm having a hard time with my picky pete now but I see that he is starting to come back to the little taste bud he was before.
The kids follow your lead. My rule is "you get what you get and you don't get upset." I take requests during the day but when it comes to dinner time it's my choice; mainly because I plan dinners a head of time so grocery shopping is more efficient cost wise. But Lindsey, what if he doesn't like it or eat it? sorry, you get what you get and you don't get upset.
Share an apple with someone.
Be well.
xoL

Another One Bites The Dust

I ordered Alicia Silverstone's Kind Diet book through Amazon, my fav, got it day before yesterday and finished it now. Very informative and conversational which made me think we are besties now. What? we are. I read it like she was narrating Clueless...because I feel that is the way it's supposed to be read. Cher Horowitz knows what she's talking about. She groups the diet into three phases of going vegan. Flirting, mainly vegetarian; Vegan, still consuming ready made foods and Superhero, eating nothing but whole, fresh foods no packages. There's a chapter on simple switches and cleaning out your pantry. For instance, White rice for brown; white pasta for whole grain; white sugar for maple or brown rice syrup and trying meat and dairy alternatives. I've been a fan of brown rice syrup for a while now after having gestational diabetes and having to find sweeteners that I approved of. Brown rice syrup doesn't spike your sugar like a white sugar or chemically made sugar. Kaiser gave me a list saying i could have sweet n low and diet soda. poppy cock! If it was 1982 I'd be like hell yea, already ingesting that stuff, no biggie! However, it's 2011 and we have so much knowledge and experience that you know and I know that shit ain't right. You don't care? Doesn't bother you? Great! well, when you loose a toe to diabetes give me a call. Lindsey! how do you bake with out sugar or flour or eggs?!?!?! and BUTTER!!! whole wheat flour. apple sauce. bananas. brown rice syrup. earth balance butter sticks. soy milk. almond milk. try it and tell you if you can tell the difference. You also have to realize that when you give up meat and dairy or the white stuff your body will go through a detox. you will get sensations of detox and that is perfect; it will pass and your body will regulate. I've noticed major changes, for the better, in my skin, nails, thought and all around feeling lighter.
Think about this; lions and other carnivorous animals have razor sharp teeth and deadly claws. Now, rub your tongue against the bottom of  your teeth. Anything super sharp and razor like? How about your nails? yea, do you think we're meant to gnaw through flesh? no. your flat bottomed teeth are for grinding grains and plants and nuts and beans. But maybe that's just me?
Finally, I'm not sure what I did to deserve Kenny but he's following my lead with kale shakes for dinner and a more plant based diet. After a bout with a cheeeeeeesy, jalapeno pizza the other night he woke up with a nasty tummy ache and a day that followed uncomfortably. Noticing how wonderful he felt waking up after having a fruit and veg protein shake the following night I think I may have sold him. Now, the guy's fav food is BBQ burgers so we'll see if I can tackle that...baby steps guys. If you love meat and can't live with out fried fat then fine. But maybe try to cancel your white stuff for whole wheat and whole grains. Or try "meatless mondays" make a big pot of brown rice or quinoa, a nice crispy green salad and some sort of other veggie you like. Make your plate as colorful as possible. Just try.

give yourself a hug
be well
xoL

You Are A Tourist

I. Am. So. Sore. In a good way, like, working out is working.
I ventured off to Hollywood this weekend to meet some friends at The Roosevelt before they all went out to some nearby club for my dear friend's bachelorette. Whaaaa?Lindsey? You didn't wanna go dancing? um, I totally did. Plain and simple, too expensive for me right now and I have two babies at home. I know people leave and go out; I have but I don't know...I like the break and date night with the husby is so important but there's literally a handful of people who I leave my kids with, two of them are their grandmothers, one's a nurse, one is a child's therapist and the other is just the sweetest girl that Jude loves and I do too. What about your sister Lindsey? She has her own and all three together is a lot. Jude and Liam (Jessica's) really know how to wear you out. I've done one overnight and I couldn't wake up early enough to get home. My mom always told me, "If you can't find a sitter (one of the aforementioned) or can't bring your kids, you don't get to go." We pretty much stick to that and are seriously ok with it. Anyway, I used to frequent Hollywood to go out and all that jazz but that was a solid 6 or 7 years ago. I am light years away from that place in my life and my self-confidence is even lower than it was then. So you can imagine this fatty waiting for her minivan from valet watching all of these very hungry, but gorg girls sashay passed me. super. ha-effing-ha. I could not get out of there fast enough. also, I am never leaving my house again. Plus side of the night, I picked up a solid 1950's Oleg Cassini jacket that I'm sure is a piece of some separate. He was a costume designer in the 40s, 50s and 60s. More importantly my wedding dress was a Cassini. Goodwill, guys...good stuff.
I was convinced I was going to have a hard time with cheese and egg, so not the case. I literally feel lighter. I feel more clear, happy and all around satisfied. I was speaking with a very good friend who is a veggie and she gave me some helpful tips for faker-outer meals for the boys around here. Did someone say Sloppy Joe? I had never had one of these sammies until my mother-in-law made some for Kenny one day. Thinking of it gives me the chills; just not for me, super sweet and artificial tasting. My mom never made them for us, which is fine; we were more of a top ramen/quesedilla family or Kraft Mac n' Cheese and Fish sticks. Oh man, right? I mean, tasty stuff but c'mon. Honestly, we ate that stuff occasionally. I remember a lot of fresh marinara with angel hair and salad and sweet potatoes with steamed rice. We ate a lot of steamed rice. It's effing delicious, why not? Speaking of rice, tonight was Stir-fry: Gardein* "beef", red and yellow bells, 1/4'd brussell sprouts, broccoli florets, shredded carrot, Braggs aminos, sesame seed oil, rice wine vinegar and a dash of Sriracha. yum. and we have enough for tomorrow. What up!
*Gardein has the best meat alternatives. The consistency is so close to the real thing. Kenny digs it so you'll be fooled too. You can find it everywhere now in the frozen or refrigerated sections. Getcha self some.
I have to find a dress for the wedding now. awesome.
be well, I'm trying,
xoL

Movie Script Ending

My family eats off of $200 worth of groceries p/week. One trip of about $120-$150 and then a few incedentals along the way; i.e. "shit, i forgot lemons.". Sprouts, the cheaper version of Whole Foods, and Trader Joes really save my ass when it comes to healthy living and cash flow. We do order in sometimes but the trend seems to wear down when I'm not on the mend from giving birth. My husband is really good about budgeting our money since we don't have a whole lot to work with. Don't get me wrong, we have fun. We go to Disneyland a lot with our Premium passes we buy with our tax returns. It's a family treat that gives us something to do when we can't really afford going else where. Packing snacks, bring your own water or coffee, discounts that come with the pass all help. We don't get churros and all that crap. Usually one meal in the park is about it. One word: bread bowls; such a warm and tasty treat. However, Disney is really stepping up their game when it comes to variety and vegetarian options. Moving along... As much as we like hanging out with friends we mostly like staying home and watching movies. After working 6 days a week, most days being 18hr days, it's nice to just be. Just sit and talk and love each other. I'm pretty convinced Jude thought his daddy didn't live with us at one point. He asked me if "daddy was comin over"...that was rough. I am so grateful that he has jobs that can keep us warm and fed and happy. I am also grateful for the man that he is and the love and support he gives me. He is the ink to my pad, the words on my page and the pep in my step.

Give your partner a kiss today and tell them you are grateful for them. It's good for all parties involved to feel and give gratitude. 

be well-

xoL

jai guru deva om; nothin's gonna change my world

In recent convos with people I hear questions like "well, what does your husband think of you going vegan"; "what does your family eat?"; "if you want to loose weight you should try atkins." First, when Kenny and I first met I was a vegan. This a.m. when he came home from work he brought me a protein plate from sbux and said, "here baby, I'll eat the cheese and egg for you." That is what he thinks. Last night we went to Disneyland and he wanted a drink; his food of choice was ESPNzone but he will go where I want. I said no, that's fine we have to eat together and that place WILL be a challenge. Guess what, easy peezy lemon squeezy. I had a Portabella Mushroom Sammie, I just said no cheese and instead of fries or whatever i got mixed greens with oil and vinegar. I ended up adding the salad to the sammie making sure none of the ingredients were cooked in butter. As a former food service slave I know that if you tell them you have an allergy to something they make gat-dang sure it's not on there. So, "I have a dairy/onion allergy, please make sure my food doesn't have any or I will die" always works. Dramatic? yes, who said I wasn't? So KT got his drink and philly steak something, Jude his mac 'n cheese and I my veggies.
My family eats what they want. I don't buy milk but we drink almond milk or soy. I don't buy "juice". The juice box stuff is a "treat". I mix it with water if or whatever if for some reason Jude has some. I like the fresh stuff when it comes to juice and I LOVE juicing. I don't have a juicer but I want one so badly. I just got the recipe for Bob Harper's "Green Drink" that is made in a blender. Next buy, juicer.  Obviously when I'm not around I realize people give him things that I would never. He can make the choice himself of what he likes. However, he does eat what I give him because that is his only option. I keep organic chicken in the freezer in case he asks for it. But he hasn't soooo...and Kenny eats what I put in front of him. Most of the time he eats late when he gets home from work and just shovels and doesn't ask what it is until he's done. He generally likes everything and is always surprised he does.
I did Atkins; I was a bitch and I got sick. end of story. I need grains and no grease.
Exercise for yesterday was home strength training during the day and pushing a 50lb stroller around the Disneyland at night. We never take the tram because it seems silly and it's way faster than waiting in line for the stroller seat and folding up all your biz and getting on. just walk. well, i jog. ;) Today, Pilates/yoga at home. Tomorrow, run.

Be Well xoL

Weird Science

IF YOU AREN'T INTO BIOLOGY OR THE HUMAN BODY SCROLL DOWN TO WHERE IT SAYS RESUME.

Giving birth to two big babies is a lot of recovery work for the body. I'm not even talking the obvious healing. I'm talking the bones, muscles, ligaments, organs and stuff like that. You don't think of that while your baby is growing inside of you. All your focus is on growing the healthiest baby you possibly can and not being a complete bitch to those who surround you. Well, no one explained how painful it is when you organs start to settle back into place or that your uterus still contracts for weeks after. Now that's a normal occurrence; apparently it's worse the bigger your baby is, obviously, your insides have stretched and created room for your bun in the oven. My feet grew, my ligaments went from being very flexible to very tight, my hips are wider (weak sauce) and gaining so much weight with both; I'm just plain and simple out of shape. Also when your preggers you stop shedding hair like all humans do, so after your bundle of joy has arrived and mommy's hormones start regulating you start shedding again making up for lost time. I'm talking handfuls at a time. Sounds appealing, yea? So that's where I am. Oliver, my sweet little giant, born at almost 12lbs and 23 inches really did a number on me and now I regulate and recover.

RESUME

This isn't about being a certain size or number on the scale. I know what a healthy weight is for me. I will NEVER say how much I weigh or my size. i don't wanna hear guesses or assumptions because you are probably wrong. My husband doesn't even know that information. By eliminating the booze and going back to my own eating habits a loss will naturally occur. This is about looking at myself and not wanting to cry or never leave my house. Moving on...

Last night's dinner was a vegan pot pie.  So yummy. When I was a vegan before it was more of an excuse to just not eat or have an excuse when I was just eating dry lettuce. Then I switched to being a vegetarian because I became more comfortable with food. I was never really good at eating meat with the exception of when I was prego. I could throw down a steak like no one's beeswax. So now having a carnivorous husby and children I need to actually learn how to make things other than quinoa and veggies. If it was up to Kenny (hubs) I would make white rice with soy and hot sauce every night or mix anything with cream of whatever Campbell's soup and call it a day. well, we all know that ain't happening. I ordered Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Life book for vegan references and I've found some GREAT websites to follow for recipes. If the boys wanna eat In 'n Out they can do it on their own time.  

My run today was good not great though. Muscle memory is a magical thing so I'm hoping she's doing her job. 

Sweet dreams xoL

Change Will Do You Good

New Years Eve, last night, was my last sip of any sort of adult libation for at least a few months. By sip I mean a bottle of champagne with the husby and some crafty designer beer he picked out at Sprouts. I'm not hungover just kinda groggy. You know the way you feel after putting poison in your body. That's the way I'm breaking it down in my head. Poison.  The first challenge comes next week when I go to Hollywood for one of my bestie's bachelorette party. There are more pros than cons when turning down the drink but there's always a pusher in the group and that's the one I have to stay away from. Put on your big girl panties and walk away right?

So this a.m. I had a taaaaasty vegetarian breakfast. scrambled egg whites with a sprinkle of Daiya "cheese" and a morning star "sausage" patty. I still had some of my mom's delish salsa so i garnished with that. Daiya has to be THE BEST vegan cheese I've ever had. It melts and stretches like a dairy cheese. It comes in cheddar, mozz and pepper jack varieties and none of them taste like a sweaty sock. Dinner tonight is vegan pot pie. Chard, broccolini, corn, leeks, baked tofu all in a "creamy" sauce in a whole wheat pie crust.

I was reading a pretty inspiring blog from a girl that is a lot like what I aspire to be as a human. She went to culinary school so there's the difference, although, I'm pretty sure she can't do a time step so we're even. Anyhow, she is a vegetarian that eats vegan 95% of the time. It may not make sense to you but it does to me. It's just a little leniency when it comes to eggs and cheese. She says it all depends on where the product comes from how the animals are farmed and treated, stuff like that. My thing is, I love eggs, poached, scrambled, boiled, I love 'em. I hate the idea of them though, the whole chicken baby thing freaks me out.  So, the plan is to continue with eggs in the a.m. for a bit. I've done without them before so it's not impossible. Another mish that I have is to find a decent vegan protein powder. My idea of protein powder is no more than 4 or 5g of carbs to 20+g of protein. I think i found one at Whole Foods but I have to do a little more internet searching.

Happy New Year :)

Be well xoL