Here Goes...

Let me just start with saying I know I can do anything. I know my good qualities as a human. I am also very aware of my down falls. Classic Lindsey, "I'm gonna be on Broadway!!!"; reality is, I was there, I worked at it, did I work as hard as the girl that did make it? probably not. Actually, definitely not. Another example; "I'm not drinking for 30 days"; reality is any event or justification as small as,"well, I'll just have one; that isn't horrible" turns to "Eh, eff it, i already had one." I can't just have one. Wait, I could just have one glass of wine or one scotch but I don't. Lots of great ideas with little follow through. Now, I'm not a complete flake, I've actually accomplished a lot. I just feel that I've let myself go literally and figuratively in the past few years and now it's time to remedy that. I've made a list of 10 items I'd like to keep as an outline coming into my 30th year of life and regenerating the my lifestyle:

1) run a 1/2 marathon
2) make my own pickles
3) go back to being a veggie/vegan 
4) make my own dress
5) start playing an instrument again
6) organize my clothes
7) catalog all of my recipes
8)make my own pillow covers
9) drink less/no alcohol
10) be grateful

The order is of no importance. Just a list. These items are things I've always wanted to do or have done already. Re-doing some things kind of reminds me that I haven't completely lost myself. I like running. I've run the mari and 1/2 mari's. Am I a natural runner? No. Do I love drinking the hooch? sho' nuff. But maybe it's time to take a break again. Maybe it's time to shed this mom shell and get back to Lindsey. Having been doing this mom gig for a few years now I have a pretty good idea of the direction I want our lives to go. Direction meaning diet, activeness and all around balance. So it's gotta start somewhere and her name is Lindsey. 

My relationship with food has never been stable. When I was a vegetarian/vegan I felt in control. I was in charge of what I put in my body as fuel. I know it sounds silly but giving myself a label made me accountable for everything. So, here goes...

Running. Training for a race again makes you, again, accountable. I feel so strong after i workout. Endorphins are wonderful guys. "Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands."-Elle Woods, Legally Blonde. So, here goes...

Drinking less/none. Not drinking at home, no biggie. Not drinking in a social sitch, biggie biggie biggie. I'm not as social or outgoing as people think I am. I'd rather not talk to anyone. If you come up to me I'll engage otherwise, I'm the one standing with my mom or husby. People think I'm a snob for it. Whatevs. I shouldn't need the liquid courage to have a conversation with someone. Also it makes me feel like shit and I don't have time for that anymore. Lastly, no hangover, no french fries. plain and simple. The bigger victory will be saying "I'll just have A glass of wine" and just having ONE. That'll be later.

The other stuff is just stuff I've always wanted to do....I'm gonna need a sowing machine. 

Encouragement is always welcome. 

Let's do this.